TV & MOVIE QUOTES:

Teddy: Fine, you guys can haul your candy asses half way across the state and back, but I'll be on the other side relaxing with my thoughts.
Gordie: Do you use your left hand or right hand for that?
Teddy: You wish.
-- Stand By Me

The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: Uh...yeah, Brain, but where will we get rubber pants our size?
-- Pinky and The Brain

Drew: Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
-- The Drew Carey Show

Angela: People are always saying you should be yourself, like yourself is this definite thing, like a toaster. Like you know what it is even. But every so often I'll have, like, a moment, where just being myself in my life right where I am is, like, enough.
-- My So-Called Life

Suzanne: Instant gratification takes too long.
-- Postcards From the Edge

Beatnik Chick: When I'm high, I AM Odetta. Let's get naked and smoke!
-- Hairspray

Homer: To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
-- The Simpsons

Freddie: People fall in love every day, huh? Is that what you said?
Allen: Yeah.
Freddie: Yeah? Well, that's a crock. It doesn't work that way. Look, do you realize how happy you were with her? That is, of course, when you weren't driving yourself crazy. Every day? Come on. Some people will never be that happy. I'll never be that happy. What am I talking to you for? You don't know anything.
-- Splash

Ty: You take drugs, Danny?
Danny: Every day.
Ty: Then what's your problem?
Danny: I don't know.
-- Caddyshack

MUSIC QUOTES:

Imagine you�re a girl/Just trying to finally come clean/Knowing full well they�d prefer you were dirty/And smiling
-- Ani DiFranco

Scorpio! You're gonna die fuckin'!
-- Chris Rock

Well, we're doin' mighty fine, I do suppose, in our streak of lightnin' cars and fancy clothes, but just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back, up front there oughta be a Man In Black.
-- Johnny Cash

RANDOM QUOTES:

I never trusted good-looking boys. I mean, they never talked to me, but if they had I never would have trusted them.
-- Frances McDormand

You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.
-- Steve Martin

Being understood is not the most essential thing in life.
-- Jodie Foster

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
-- Lily Tomlin

Good sex is like good Bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
-- Mae West

I am not interested in money. I just want to be wonderful.
-- Marilyn Monroe

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
-- Katharine Hepburn

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
--Fran Lebowitz

Probably you've only really grown up, when you can bear not being understood.
-- Marian Gold of Alphaville

A woman has all too much substance in a man's eyes at the best of times. That is why men like women to be slim. Her lack of flesh negates her. The less of her there is, the less notice he need take of her. The more like a male she appears to be, the safer he feels.
-- Fay Weldon

When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. And that's my religion.
-- Abraham Lincoln

No matter where you go, you always see yourself in the rearview mirror.
-- Kinky Friedman

Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
-- Fran Lebowitz

What's the problem with just smoking a joint, eating a couple of twinkies, and going to sleep?
-- Denis Leary

The masses have never been arbiters of the sublime, and they often fail to recognize the truly great individual. Taking into account the public's regrettable lack of taste, it is incumbent upon you not to fit in.
-- Janeane Garofalo

The cosmetically superficial "free choice" philosophy of these libertarians, libertines, and liberal feminists, shorn of any analysis of power imbalances or their remedies, can hardly represent feminist liberation, much less a true third wave.
-- Steven Hill

I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word - politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
-- Fran Lebowitz

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone . . . but they've always worked for me.
-- Hunter S. Thompson

What kind of women might we be if we did not have to worry about being too sexual, or not sexual enough, or the wrong kind of sexual for the company we keep, the convictions we hold?
-- Dorothy Allison

There are two ways to be cool: One is to be disinterested and make it seem like you must be doing something much more interesting than everybody else if you are this disinterested. The other is to be extremely interested. You are not trying to please anyone, but you are really invested, are really focused.
-- Maggie Gyllenhaal

Politically, I'm a hypocrite. I'm a socialist with a gold card. I think we need a revolution, but I'm scared I won't be able to find any good moisturizer after it happens.
-- Brett Butler

In case you ever consider getting off caffeine yourself, let me explain the process. You begin by sitting motionlessly in a desk chair. Then you just keep doing that forever because life has no meaning.
-- Scott Adams, cartoonist and creator of Dilbert