Hey, I have a question. Why, all of a sudden, are all the villains female? And not like women either, but teense little girleens who look like they couldn't hurt a fly and like their most complex thoughts are in reference to their lip gloss. I am fully aware that women feel and do everything a man feels and does. We are just as violent, mean, angry, and vicious. And I know women are conditioned to keep this to themselves. So it's good to see a woman or a girl get good and mad and kick some either good or evil ass. But seriously, this is getting ridiculous. I have really started to notice this trend on shows that feature villain types that not only are the bad guys predominantly female but the least likely females imaginable. Take 24 for example. I just finished watching the season finale for this year. (If you, for some reason haven't watched it and are going to, stop reading now.) I was just as surprised as anyone else that Marie Warner was a terrorist. I like it when shows are creative in that way, making happen the last thing you thought would. But Nina was the evil queen last year; and they brought her back again to do more horrible stuff to Jack. Then there was Sherry Palmer. Don't even talk to me about that bitch. And that poor soul Kingsley stabbed in his office. The good guys even had that wench Carrie. And then, finally, the Atomic Kitten they got to (I assume) assassinate the president. What. The. Fuck? I mean, I'm all for women being in shows and movies more but, not only were there hardly any female white hats in this show (Kate and Michelle are the only ones that spring to mind), the Evil Witches are all small potatoes. As minions go, you can't get badder than Marie Warner putting a gun to her sister's head; but any REAL evil needs to get done? You have to call the old white (mostly foreign) men. All the women in the show were basically pawns. Michelle and Kate were amazing; but the whole time they were either with Jack or doing as he said. (For the record, I love Jack/Keifer and would gladly have his gravelly-voiced children.) Please don't talk talk to me about Kim's "subplot" either. That was some of the dumbest shit I've seen on TV. Angel had Darla, Drusilla, and Lilah working for Wolfram and Hart, more recently Cordy herself was manipulated into being evil, and of course, Jasmine: she was a double threat-female and Black. Buffy had Darla and Drusilla as well; Darla was a minion of The Master and Drusilla (despite Giles' warning that she was evil and crazy, therefore there was no telling what she might do) didn't do a whole lot and was always working with Spike or Angelus. Glory was a god so she wasn't working for anyone but she looked like a cheerleader and needed to share a body with Ben; and Willow was on her own but, of course, being a main character, she wasn't really evil, she was just, you know, upset. Even in Harry Potter, I noticed this trend. Bellatrix Lestrange and Dolores Umbridge are perfect examples. This isn't equal opportunity badness, people!

Last time I was in England, I was reading a newspaper (I don't know which one it was) and they listed the AFI's top ten villains and top ten heroes. No matter how heartened I was by peaceful, intelligent Atticus Finch's place in the number one spot on the hero list (instead of some jerk off with big muscles and no brains who likes to blow shit up) I still couldn't help but notice that there were two women on the hero list and six women on the villain list. Every time I brought this up to guys, at least one of them said, "But women make the best villains" or "Women are so good at being bad" or some similar variation. Well, you can imagine that I had many problems with the assertion. The first fucking thing that popped into my head was that old stereotype about guys who whine "But you're so good at it!" whenever they want you to do something for them that they can't be arsed to do themselves (stereotypes aside my father used to do that; he was parodying it and making it into a joke. But he still expected me or my mom or whoever to do the task). The thing is that defending the overuse of female villains by saying women are good at being bad is not only bad logic, it is extremely condescending. I know the guys who said this to me certainly don't realize that I took their remarks like this. They were completely sincere and I didn't feel like arguing (mostly because none of them were my brother-in-law; I SO would have argued with him). It's not even an argument because in sheer numbers, there are way more fictional bad guys than girls out there because, as a general rule (especially in movies), men are written about more. They are seen as more interesting (especially to the MEN who make movies). One of the villains was the Queen from Snow White! A fucking cartoon! Another was the Wicked Witch of the West-more fantasy women. Alex Forrest from Fatal Attraction was there too. It just shows that there's a lot of ways that men think women can be evil. And not so many ways they can be heroic. Ellen Ripley and Clarice Starling were the two heroes in the top ten; no one as subtle or quietly heroic as Atticus or George Bailey. An FBI agent and a military woman; two very traditionally masculine professions. I have seen the rest of the list though; Thelma and Louise are on there as well as Norma Rae, Karen Silkwood, and Erin Brockovich. But those last three were real people; no scriptwriter would have made them female. And there are still seven female heroes out of fifty and fourteen out of fifty female villains. Twice as many. Men apparently find women very scary.