I'm almost done with my Christmas shopping. I just need to get something for D's girlfriend. And I'm going to do that after our Christmas lunch next Thursday. Apparently after it is all over and done with, we get to go home. So that will be my last shopping day. I wish it was the Friday because I would love to leave early since that night is my nephew's third birthday party and I'm gonna probably be late. Oh well. I tried to leave early last night to go out to my sister's because my brother-in-law is making CDs for me for Christmas gifts. I was going to leave at like quarter to five or like five but I didn't even leave until 6:15. Such is life.

***

So I was thinking I should post drunk and/or stoned just to see what I would come up with. When me and my friends first started getting high, oh so many years ago, we used to crack each other up and be all like, "Dude! We need to write this shit down! It's so funny!" You know, like, everyone thinks everything is hilarious when you're high. We did it a couple of times, and sometimes it was still really funny. But most of the time it was just hilarious how funny we had thought it was. Also, like everyone else, I consider myself to be eerily perceptive and insightful when altered in that way. Like, just the other night I had constructed an elaborate argument why Bruce Springsteen simply had to be a Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel fan. I had myself totally convinced. Of course, I can't remember a bit of it now. But I was so sure, that I'm still a firm believer.

***

I'm a little bummed because when I woke up, my brother-in-law had disappeared somewhere with my nephew. I haven't seen him yet today. I just expected him to come in an wake me up this morning but I guess his dad made him be nice to me or something by letting me sleep. But I've been up for at least an hour and they are still MIA. And my sister's asleep 'cause she had to work til seven this morning (seriously, she's like SuperMom) and so that's why I'm on their computer. And my nephew is the cutest, smartest, funniest kid ever. I came in last night and he was like "Hi Marg, do you want to watch a little TV?" A LITTLE TV! Like, what is he, sixty? And then I was like, "In just a minute, hon. I have to go to the bathroom." And he goes, "Oh. Okay. Do you have a penis?" And as I'm walking out of the room I go, "No." And he just continued to watch TV. He was done with that conversation. No 'why don't you have a penis' or anything. I thought that was fucking hilarious. Of course, it's been ages since I've been around kids. I'm sure they are all like that. But he seems so old! And then he was playing this little guitar his dad has, which is real and has all the strings and everything. He even has picks! He was rockin' out and singing at the top of his voice all his little kiddie songs and watching himself in the reflection of the window. If he ever moved even a little bit, he would re-position himself so he could see himself again. I was cracking up. Apparently I'm his go-go dancer now. He wouldn't play for the rest of the night unless I danced while he played. He kept saying "Are you going to come and dance now?" God, I can't wait to have my own kid for entertainment.

***

Well, I'm going to go watch a little TV and wait for my cute nephew to come home expressly for the purpose of entertaining me.